This post is dedicated to my younger self in the 20’s when my perception of being a mother was an end game of life where you have no freedom, enjoyment, opportunities, career growth, and an endless struggle to get back to the shape again 🙂 Well, don’t blame me! A mother’s job is so underrated in today’s world that young girls don’t aspire to become a stay-at-home spouse or mothers unless they have achieved their personal goals. So now what changed my perception of being a mother and how do I feel as a mother? This post is all about such sentiments and feelings and if this resonates, you might like to read it further 🙂
JOURNEY AS BEING A MOTHER
Can’t believe that I have entered this phase of life called motherhood. I never imagined myself in a mother’s role before because having a child means a lifetime responsibility for which I was never prepared. As time passed, my perception shifted. Somewhere there was a dilemma between mind and heart where the mind didn’t allow any space for responsibilities, but the heart was convincing of my capabilities. Finally, in the end, my heart won! Couldn’t ignore that after a certain age, every cell in my body was screaming to become a mother. Was it a biological thing, social pressure, or just an age limitation – I don’t know? I’m still unaware of the reason why I or any woman goes through those nine restless months and that excruciating Laboure pain so willingly. The feeling of avoiding or delaying pregnancy is not unusual. Like me, it happens with so many ambitious women where they fear being involved in family responsibilities. Though nothing is right or wrong. The world has progressed in the mindset of women’s choices, and to be a mother or not is completely a personal choice. I feel that no woman should force herself to be a mother regardless of age, social pressure or whether she is ambitious or not.
Motherhood blessed me with qualities that I have never thought existed before. It seems like I have discovered untapped power within me. It made me super confident and whatever insecurities, fears, weaknesses I had seemed to have disappeared. No doubt a mother’s job is challenging. It’s physically and mentally exhausting to the level that sometimes you want to go back to your previous life where you had no responsibilities, yet a mother never gives up. Instead, she takes care of her child with pure compassion, calmness, and patience which was not my persona before. I was completely opposite of such expressions but now I am witnessing such changes which is incredible. All thanks to motherhood.
CONFIDENT THAN EVER BEFORE
Physically, I’m a petite woman with a lean body and I had no idea of how powerful my body was until I delivered a healthy baby boy weighing four kg which seems like a wonder to me. I was always a delicate girl who used to doubt her physical and mental strength. But due to my pregnancy, I realiesd my body and mind are stronger than I thought. Raising another human being who solely depends on every little need is tough. It is a challenging job and no doubt you need a sound mind to raise another human being. I never imagined I could bear sleepless nights and those annoying periods when the baby is not willing to hush at any cost. Motherhood showed me a different side of myself which is powerful, compassionate, and caring. Surprisingly, I have the patience and strength to deal with matters without getting hyper or restless now. I’m stronger, powerful, and confident in my skin than ever before.
ESCAPING THE RAT RACE
Motherhood taught me to have peace over the competition. When you become a mother, you slow down a bit and see the world from a distinct perspective. I have great ambitions and dreams for my personal growth, but I do not want to achieve it at the cost of my family’s peace. I would rather giggle with my child than show the worth of my existence to the world. Achieving goals in life is an endless process and it has nothing to do with happiness. I can choose to be happy right away. It’s all about the perception you build in your mind. I have seen people losing their sanity over their ambitions to the length that their happiness or family doesn’t matter anymore. They forget to smile at things which mattered to them once. In a digital media age, it’s quite easy to compare your life and achievements based on other people’s lives. Imagine if every artist paints the same picture on the canvas, would you appreciate that? In the same way, my life story shouldn’t be identical to others because I’m a unique person and I would love to paint my life differently. My goal is to cherish whatever little or big I currently have with my loved ones. I will keep achieving my goal at my own pace. For me, the priority is to experience the smile of my child is more important than having a goal achievement list on the wall. Once I opted for this mindset, I became more productive, creative, and most of all happiest in life. Be genuinely peaceful and rich rather than showing the world that you are peaceful and rich. Aspire to do things that genuinely matter to you because life is slipping every single day and you have an extremely limited time to spend with your loved ones.
ACCEPTING MYSELF WHOLE HEARTEDLY
They say role model the behavior you want to see from your kids. Once you become a parent you understand that how beautiful and perfect children are and want to convey the same to your child through every action. You show them their uniqueness which is not comparable to others. You try to keep them away from insecurities and judgments by others. But before making them understand all this, do we accept ourselves wholeheartedly is the question? I remember, in my youthful days, I was filled with insecurities and doubts due to the nuisance created by others in my life. For me, the perception of others was utmost important than owning myself. I tried to mold myself according to others. As I grew older, I realised such blunders of my life which I never want to pass on to my child. Now as a headstrong person, I accept myself wholeheartedly. My life might not be a perfect definition, but for me it’s more than wonderful. It’s not humanly possible to please everyone in your life. Others might have attributes which you might not have but that doesn’t make your life less valuable than others. Everyone has a different approach towards life thus we all have a right to live it differently. Now I proudly accept all the aspects of my life regardless of good or bad. and I want my child to have such an approach towards life. I want him to be honest with himself than with the rest of the world.
NO MORE PERFECTION FOR ME
I am the kind of a person who seeks perfection in whatever I do. Sometimes this behavior can lead to an opportunity loss. As a new mother, I do not have luxury of time hence completing a task is more sensible than holding onto it until perfect. Due to this innovative approach, I can finish things within a limited time. Once you complete a task on your list, you feel exhilarated as your body releases dopamine (an achievement hormone) which motivates you to mark the next task on your list and improves your productivity. Anyway, perfection is just an illusion, there is always room for improvement. No matter how hard you try you are never 100% ready. I can proudly say that motherhood made me productive despite having a hectic schedule at home.
LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE MATTERS MORE
Motherhood taught me the art of gratitude and appreciation. I started appreciating little things in life which were not noticeable before. I know families are always there to support but there are sensitive times when this realization exceeds, for me it was my pregnancy. I’m deeply grateful to my family and friends who were always there when needed. We always give our gratitude towards others while neglecting our family, thinking it’s their obligation. Imagine how difficult it’s for people who don’t have such kind of support system in their life. My pregnancy somehow united me more towards my family and increased the empathy towards others. I’m no more a stubborn snob or insecure person. I understand others in a better way and accept them as they are without any judgments. I smile at stranger moms because of the motherhood connection we share and tend to go out of my comfort zone to appreciate and help others. I am profoundly grateful for whatever I have and do not regret things I don’t have.
Now finally here I am, with deep gratitude in my heart embracing this new life and it feels like the biggest blessing of my life which I wouldn’t exchange for the world. All the experiences seem minuscule once I experienced this motherly feeling within me. Being a mother is a most wonderful experience and if I had to describe the feeling in words, I might say that God’s love will be closer to the mother’s love. Mother’s love is the purest form of love and it’s beyond explainable. Realizing that being a mother doesn’t make you limited, but it makes you limitless, strong, and powerful is the biggest lesson of life. My baby enhanced the meaning of my existence. I feel as though I have achieved something great, and the purpose of my existence is fulfilled. The feeling of creating another human might not seem a big deal but it is a big deal for every woman. Sometimes I feel that the world can be a better place if we see the world through mothers’ eyes. I wish I could have taken this decision earlier but with no regrets, I sign off!